Pickup

People crave pickup lines in like the alchemists craved the formula for changing lead to gold; but there is so much magic that has to happen behind the scenes the pickup line is almost irrelevant.

What is it that makes that zip, pow, or shabam happen or not happen? The culture of romance depends on the myth of love at first sight, that you can see that person for the first time and all will be revealed in one glorious moment of recognition, or that the corny line might lead to a smooth acquiescence. Recognizing the conditions that can lead to that moment can be half the battle.

ho ho ho And does love just happen like that? Is that sudden out-of-the-blue spark (is that lightning?) necessary for any romance? Is there ever a time when it's sufficient? What happens if that happens and you don't notice? Or worse, the other party?
The signs between people can be subtle. It's difficult to know what other people might be thinking of you; when you're unattached it's tough not to be sizing up everyone around you as a potential Romantic Interest. (And for some people, it's tough even when they are attached.) But if you're bad at reading people, it can be excruciating. At times I find myself wishing for really obvious signs and signals, like that flower supposedly worn by fair Hawaiian maidens on one side of they're involved, on the other if they're not. On the other hand, the world just isn't that binary. Stumbling over the possibilities, almost by accident, is one of the first steps of changing that lead bar to gold.

OK-- if you've read this far I'd like you to do me a favor: e-mail my friend Lena <mindlina@cs.tufts.edu> and congratulate her on her engagement at the Eiffel Tower. Oh, and you can see her Virtual Art Gallery at her homepage

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