By K.R.
Date: 24 November 1998
Happy, Confusion
I'm so confused. But so happy. For I am the luckiest girl in the world. I just don't know what I am feeling. Well i know that I Love you... but Love well i guess its just confusing. But even though i'm confused its a good confusion....a confusion that makes sense....weird right?...I used to ask myself.... Is it Love or Like? Does it even matter? Evereyone makes a big fuss over the "L" word but....who really cares? But my heart always tells me that I Love you. All i know is now that i have someone so special.... i carry around the warmest feeling. A feeling that is so undescribable. And when i cry at night before i sleep....the tears aren't because i'm in pain...they are simply because i am so happy. And when my eyes fill up with tears i pray to god that you'll keep me forever. When you hold me tight i never want you to let me go. You're just so perfect and I trust you so much i'm giving you something....something i swore i'd never give away again....But the heart that was once wounded you can now call "yours"....i'll give you my heart.... Its been a short time that we've been together but you have already left me with so many good times and memories....memories that i can call some of my favorites. Sometimes it doesn't even feel like i'm alive.... i have to ask myself if this is reality.....could something this good be so true? And what i am living now....sometimes i just wanna call it Love. I wanted to tell you how i feel. But somehow i thought you already knew. I always knew i wanted you.... i wanted you to be someone i could call "mine" and now that i have you.... i find myself thinking i "need" you. When i look up at the starlit sky i make the same wish everynight. A wish for you and i. I promise never to hurt you.....you can have me for a long as you want me....I hope you'll want me for always . I go to church every sunday. I thank the Lord for alot of things...things such as you....i'm so thankful for you.... thankful that i can say someone so special has become a part of my life... a special someone that is you. And the eyes that i adored from afar for so long.... i can look into those eyes now and i feel the warmth you have to offer through your smile. But i know you can't read my mind...so i'm telling you what i feel....The promise i want to make that day, after day, after day, i'll always stay true. You have my word and can depend on me. You take this heart of mine and make it better. And when you tell me "your mine" you always promise me forever. Thats all i need to go on each day. This feeling i have is everywhere i go. And everyday this little feeling gets bigger and bigger. And everytime our lips meet....oh i can't even compare it to anything in this whole universe for the feeling is so amazing.... Why didn't i think of you sooner? It took me so long to notice someone so wonderful....it took me all this time....But all of this just leads to one thing.... all of this confusion....every thing i am trying to get out and say.... That i am so happy....that in my heart i truly do Love you....but most of all that Loving you makes life worth living and I can rest my worries now because i'll always be sure that i have someone like you....
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