By alison
Date: 22 March 1999

windmill

after all i said to you
when we were 
unbroken
(you even kept the card
'you mean everything to me'
though it was on the floor 
of your room 
along with old reciepts 
and dirty socks),
all the lovewhispers
and the passionshouts, 
you can still sit here
halfdrunk
while i'm 
halfinlove
and tell me
of course you 
love me 
but not like before.

and when i ask
'what changed'
you tell me 
you 

don't 

know
and i want to scream
to show you how 
nothing changed
i still love you
i always will
but i stop myself 
and let it go.

and we sleep together 
whispering til all hours 
with my roommate snoring 
across the room
and i wonder 
are we allowed to do this?
am i allowed to do this 
when everytime we touch 
my heart says 
nothing's changed,
but my mind tells me 

everything has.