By Brent  BLong@onecom.com
Date: 2 April 1999

Why us, Why Now?

Why must life always show us up?  Why must I always throw it back? 
Why do I sound like I'm desperate or just plain sad?
O.K., the story from the top...

We've always talked, we joked, we really were a "just friends" status.
But we talked more, and we joked more, and I began to want to become more than "just friends"
I really started to like her, I really started to hate it when I wasn't around her.
We just seemed so right, so great, so perfect.
I just wanted to be with her forever, I just wanted to have her as mine.
She seems so perfect in every way, so great, so whole.
Something that completes me, something that would define me.
Then one day I found out from an outside source, that she was having the same feelings for me.
I couldn't describe the feelings that shot through me.
I couldn't describe the things that I was thinking.
I just wanted to say so much to her, but that was my problem.
I couldn't make the words, I just couldn't say my mind.
I figured that if I gave myself time, I would come up with the words easily.
Well, it turns out that I was wrong.
You know that "other factor" thing at the top of this?
Well HE came into effect, and that's the downhill start.
I felt as if I was in a race, as if I had to completely fight for her.
I would have, but she seemed to be leaning towards this one, so I wanted her to be happy.
I never spoke up, and I lost her to him.  
I wasn't exactly sad, I was downed but I couldn't give up just like that.
I sat back for a while, rode with the crowd.
I didn't get to see her as much as I had wanted to.
I didn't get to talk to her as much as I had wanted to.
Now we're talking again, now that closeness is back, god how I missed her, but she is still with him, but I haven't mentioned a word.
I hope she has read this, I hope she has seen taht this is how I've felt...and I have to tell her one more thing..
Liz, I really truly love you, it's one of the most indescribable feelings, but I know its true...

      No giving up.
      No letting go.
      I've done neither and now you know.

      I hope you've seen my tale of us.
      A heart is a precious thing,
      That I can see.
      I just hope it will join you and me.

                         Love,
                          Brent