Boxers v. Briefs: an eternal cycle?

Two years ago this month, I used this bully pulpit to explain my (indifferent) feelings about traditional lingerie. This month I wish to ramble on the flip side of the undergarment coin: what should the well-dressed man be wearing, right before he is wearing nothing at all?

I am steadfast in my belief that Boxers are the only way for a man to go. This was not an opinion arrived at lightly: my childhood underwear drawer was full of nothing except traditional tightie whities, or in the Queen's English, "Y-fronts". Not until college did I recognize the error of my underways, and now I can explain the reasons

Boxers make men look good. If you are cut, with muscles of granite and abs of steel, then boxers will look good on you. The movement of the fabric as it slides across your chiseled thighs will whisper about the glories that lie underneath. If, on the other hand, you're a poor shlub like the rest of us, you should find that Boxers are much more forgiving. Yet they aren't quite the "bulky sweater" of the underwear world, since they don't have the disadvantage of looking like you are trying to conceal. I know there are some who will always prefer the "meatmarket" methodology of briefs, but these are probably the same people who could never understand the appeal of a long slow striptease, preferring that everyone to get "right down to business."

Over time, a pair of Boxers will wear better than any other kind of underwear- especially the infamous tighty whities, which too easily take on a sour, soiled look. It's just another penalty of the confining fit of Briefs, part of the dignity that they will never have.

Boxers even have more dignity when they are still unpurchased. They don't come wrapped in plastic or crammed in a cardboard tube (well, maybe they sometimes do, but I don't want to hear about it.) They hang, as proud as any other fine piece of clothing, on a small plastic hanger, with only a cardboard sheath for protection. And why is this? Because boxers are interesting to look at. You can buy pairs that are as silly as underoos or as conservative as argyle socks. You can have a favorite pair of Boxers- to be shared mostly with the one you love. But would anyone want to go out with a guy who had a favorite pair of tighty whities?

I am convinced of the fundamental superiority of Boxers over Briefs, yet I realize it is partially a generational issue: one rite of manhood is when a boy no longer wears the same type underwear as his father. Boxers are currently en vogue, and we will be comfortable (if not quite so secure) in the knowledge that we have had it better than our brief-wearing offspring.


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