By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 29 December 1999

Your Dream Girl

i hope you find
your Girl of the Millennium
i hope you find
  The One
who will screw other guys
  just to keep you
    on your toes
i hope you find someone
   who is worth
     a rose
i hope you find
  your Beloved
Cindy Crawford clone
i hope you find
  a chic
who is never alone
i hope you find
a Party Girl
with long blonde hair
i hope you find
  a bitch
who doesn't care
i wish you
a Pamela Lee
a Jenny McCarthy
a Princess Leia
someone who hardly
(if ever)
ever calls you back
i hope you find
a bomb
who does not lack
a single thing
i hope you find
someone worthy
enough to wear
your ring
i hope you find
a woman
who never farts
may you find 
The One
who busts open hearts
i hope she's tacky
and fake
your soul mate
from hell
she may love you
with a fever
but she'll
never, ever
tell