By the guppy
Date: 1 December 1999

hats off

it was another racetrack morning in my world
and i'm feeling kind of uninspired
i'm tearing up the script
the lines don't seem to fit right now
not like they did before
and did they then?
i can't say that i'm sure
it did seem easier at times
to stand on x's and mutter lines aloud
maybe that shrouded curtain
is finally coming down
it's been a long time in this whirlwind charade
i've done my time
i've played this pantomime out to perfection
at least the best that i could do
i've worn the tophat and tuxedo
danced a softshoe, twirling cane, the whole nine yards
i smiled through it
i just can't do it anymore
it just seems far to fake
and too big a venue to afford mistakes
i'll get by without the spotlights and the forced applause, i know
i will get used to silence
and alone
i'm not sure it is a choice
just a place i have to be right now
i'm not sure why
it doesn't always feel so good
like when you do things and your used to hearing things
and then one day you wake up
do the things
hear nothing
and just freak out because you know that something's missing
and the next day comes
you do the things
hear nothing
and think that something must be up
eventually it all grows normal
and days keep flying past
at last some peace and quiet, so you think
and then one day
you do the things
hear nothing
and just have to question why
why you don't hear it anymore
and that the reasons that you do things
just are not worth doing them for