By Nikki
Date: 8 May 2000

I used to...

I used to look in the mirror
and pick the reflection apart.
But now I look
and try to find
the one thing that 
keeps you coming back for more.

I used to read self-help books
but now I write 
my own brand of self-help,
   every word,
      every line,
         every verse
dedicated to cleansing
a soul that gave up long ago,
thinking that it would never
find a place to call home.

I used to go to sleep every night
   alone, lonely
and wake up every morning
   alone & just as lonely.
But now, even though I am still alone,
you are by my side,
your memory bringing
   a smile
      a kiss
to guide me through the loneliness.

I used to wonder
what it was like to be loved.
Now I just wonder
that I was lucky enough to be
   loved
      by
         You.


5/7/00 nl