By Michael (dehydrated)
Date: 31 May 2000

Wishful thinking and the hangover

I took one hundred shots of wishful thinking
the aftertaste is just like tequila
Goddamn I need a lime
I fantasized of a senorita
her love is just like a margartia
the buzz is good
you think it'll last forever
but it never lasts long enough to suit you
when it's over
you got salt all over your face
I rolled up a joint
it's called regret
don't help you live
don't help you forget
don't help you remember
don't help you learn
don't help you win
sure helps you lose
but it makes your life easier
for a little while
but I was talking to an anonymous familiar stranger
beer goggles confusing the hell out of me
threw my caution to the wind
I was messed up drunk
he spiked my joint with some LSD
set off some unpleasant memories
distorted the hell out of my reality
made me start acting crazy.
couldn't see the stranger all that clearly
some lightbulb image in my head
Some mean anonnymous stranger
made off with my pride
led me on
beat me up
stole my clothes
        called me names
And I woke up naked
Sometime during the night I pissed all over the Blender
My crap is lying everywhere
stinking up the place
I'm strung out
hung over
sore
tired like you wouldn't believe
a little pissed
a lot embarrassed
my hands got tied behind my back
something to do with playing by gentlemanly rules
somehow one hand is halfway free
I must have fought dirty
I must have fought hard
I don't remember all the things I did
I don't really want to know all the things I said
hungry as all get out
for a taco
a pink taco
the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me
but this ain't the worst thing
that ever happened to me
thats when I met a sour girl
she was a happy girl the day that she left me
        But I'm happy she's a happy girl now
        Though I gotta remember to be careful what I wish for
        what you wish for might happen
        and you might not get anything
        at all
Sometimes the good guy
doesn't have to beat the bad guy up
the damsel in distress doesn't either
the bad guy might start dancing with a ghost
believing the words of a stranger
shadow box a brick wall
pick a fights with someones in the dark
and end up beating the crap out of his own damn self
In front of the whole damn bar
while the jerks are laughing and catcalling
and the beautiful people are trying to help
but the bad guy has to save his own ass
and the private people are trying their damn best to close their eyes
        against this horrible
        somehow beautiful -- horribly beatiful and tragic and heart rending
        messed up spectacle
they don't want to see this
they want the whole damn thing taken outside
and the bad guy wonders how the hell he got into this mess in the first place
and how not to do it again
        this isn't happening again
Don't fall in love with a dirty blonde senorita
you'll be lucky to leave alive
on your feet
with money in your wallet
unblemished fists
unadorned fingers
something left of your pride
something left of your sanity
something left of you heart
no bullets in you
no cops chasing you
no restraining orders
no warrant for your arrest
and if you really beat the odds
the senorita remembers you from way back
and called to console your aching heart
one last time
so put a smile on your face
watch out for your boss when you walk in
beat to hell and dehydrated in the morning
be gentle with that wounded pride
It's only love after all
and everybody gets messed up drunk
at least once in their lives.
So take heed of these quotes I stole
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
              And mine are always big, bold, and brilliant
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
And try not to regret and never forget
It's only love after all
        Anyone have any aspirin?

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