By Evangeline
Date: 12 May 2000
To Michael
(written 5-21-94)
Look at all this wasted time
look at all my torment
look at this mess...
What didn't I do?
What didn't I say?
What I didn't plan on was to be treated this way.
I don't need this kind of shit.
I don't need your acts of kindness
I don't need your fucking knife,
I've got my own
buried deep
and it cuts right through my soul
it cuts where I live
and leaves nothing but a hole.
I thought all this time I'd waited and finally my dreams were coming true-
I opened up my heart
but all I found was you.
I thought I could trust
I thought I could love
I even believed
when you said we could rise above
I guess that proves me wrong.
I'm better off alone.
Forget about the fucking phone.
I'll take it off the hook
disconnect the damn thing
turn the fucking ringer off so the damn thing won't ring.
I'll hide it away in the closet
shut it up for years
Save me from the pain it causes
Save me from all the tears.
I've got my own mind and I'm finally gonna use it.
I'm gonna get you out of my head before I fucking lose it.
Why'd it take me so long to see?
Why the hell were you questioning me?
It was you that didn't believe,
not me.
Damn you for my pain
Damn you for not being sane
Damn your insecurities
Damn your eccentricities
Fuck all your lies
Fuck that stupid look in your eyes
Fuck everything you ever told me
Fuck it all I didn't see...
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