By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 4 February 2000

SCENE 31

SCENE 31-INT.-Mr. Crenshaw's room. Night.
Mr. Crenshaw is lounging on his bed reading
*Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.* Looks up
at Derek. Frowns. Then he sees Becca.
Mr. Crenshaw: Finally, a real woman.
Derek: Papaw, this is Becca. She's my new
girlfriend and roommate.
Mr. Crenshaw: An unbeatable combo.
Becca: Hello, Papaw. That's an excellent book.
I've got it at home.
Mr. Crenshaw: You look like a big bright summer
day. And you're smart. Son, I hope you can 
handle this one and not ruin things by opening
your mouth.
Derek: Thanks, Papaw. At least I've evolved beyond
snake status.
Mr. Crenshaw: We'll see about that. Let's not jump
to any conclusions.
Derek: Want me to bring you a Sprite from the
machine?
Mr. Crenshaw: Of course. Go away now and I'll
talk this miracle into reading to me in her
sweet summer voice.
Derek: Tryin' to steal my girlfriend already?
Mr. Crenshaw: I guess I will if I decide to.
Derek: Do you want anything, babe?
Becca: No thanks. I'm good.
Derek nods his head and smiles. Leaves the rooms.
Becca smiles and sits down in a chair.
Mr. Crenshaw: You better watch that boy. He's the
number one reason for birth control. If you had
kids with that character there's no tellin' how
they'd turn out.
Becca laughs.
Mr. Crenshaw: I see you're already gone on him.
That's fine. Go on and read this excellent book
to me, if you don't mind.
Hands Becca the book.
Becca: Any particular passage?
Mr. Crenshaw: Surprise me. I like surprises.
Becca: Cool. I like surprises, too.
Closes her eyes as she closes the book.
Opens the book and opens her eyes.
Becca: Oh, this is a good one! Chapter Five.
Advice From a Caterpillar. "The Caterpillar and
Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: 
at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its
mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.
'Who are you?' said the Caterpillar. This was not an
encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied,
rather shyly,'I-I hardly know, Sir, just at Present-
at least I know who I was when I got up this morning,
but I think I must have been changed several times
since then.'"
(Lewis Carroll, *Alices' Adventures in Wonderland*)