By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 28 February 2000
SCENE 60
SCENE 60-INT.-Truck stop. Night.
Becca and Papaw are facing each other in a booth.
Becca is scanning the menu. Papaw is looking around
at the different people.
Music: "Misery and Gin" by Merle Haggard.
Papaw: That man over there looks like his mother and sister
are one and the same.
Becca turns around to see who Papaw is looking at. He's staring
at a truck driver who is sitting alone in a booth. The truck driver
is wearing a greasy cap that says Perverts Are People, Too. He's got
big bug eyes and his mouth is hanging open, revealing crooked yellow
teeth. He's looking a waitress up and down. Becca shudders.
Becca: He'd be a big hit with Jerry Springer.
Papaw: That geek with glasses who has all those rank idiots on his
show?
Becca: Yeah. The ring master.
Papaw: That's one circus I wouldn't want to join.
Becca: People say it's fake but I don't think it is. The only part
that's fake is the very end when all those people are telling Jerry
how much they love him.
Papaw: They either get paid to say that foolishness or they're
stoned out of their gourds.
The waitress appears.
Waitress: How ya'll doin'?
Papaw: We're great. We're on the road.
Waitress: Really? Where ya'll headed?
Becca: Viva Las Vegas! (sings it out like Elvis)
Waitress: Las Vegas, huh? I got married there once.
Well, what do ya'll want?
Papaw: What's good?
Waitress: You want the truth?
Becca: No. Please spare us. We're starvin'.
Waitress: My latest ex is the cook. Just thought I'd let ya'll
know.
Becca: That's fine. I'll take a bacon cheeseburger and a huge
order of onion rings and a large Dr. Pepper.
Waitress: Bless your heart. You really are hungry.
Papaw: I'll take a Frito pie and a Sunkist.
Waitress: Honey, I can't let you order the Frito pie.
I don't want you to get sick.
Papaw: Damn it, that's what I'm hungry for.
Waitress: I'll tell ya what. I don't usually do this,
but since it's a slow night, I'll go ahead and make
some Frito pie for ya. My ex couldn't make Frito pie if
his ass was on fire. He just throws the Fritos and chili
in a bowl and nukes it in the microwave for two minutes.
Papaw: Well, I trust you to do it right.
Waitress: Bless your heart. Alright, honey. You got it.
Back to the Heart-on-Sleeve Corner