By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 17 April 2000
Renegade
having survived all the inherent bullshit
of unrequited love
co-dependency
ill-fated flings
all the If You Love Me You'll Do This
If You Want This To Work You'll Be This
If You Want Me To Stick Around Don't Do That
all the effort
all the games
all the casually inflicted wounds
and the Oops! I'm Sorry!
I'm not much for it
when it's real
live without water
for long enough
and when you finally
get a drink
you'll spit it
out
live without air
and when it comes
suddenly
you will choke
live at the poverty level for a few
and you won't trust hefty paychecks
and bonuses
you'll cheat the system regardless
take on love like a whirlwind
and see where you wind up
and if you aren't dead
or broken beyond recognition
at the end
see if you'll fly a kite
anytime soon
this is not to say true blue genuine destined karmic love
of the forever variety
is all bad
but when you've had bad for many moons
good isn't so great
warning: I am not a dream come true
I am not a tabula rasa
eagerly awaiting blood red scrawls
I'm a walking time bomb
a renegade
sweaty as hell from the trenches
needing nothing more
than some kind
of peace
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