By Misti Velvet Rainwater   mnemosyne26@hotmail.com
Date: 28 April 2000

Superstitions and Reasons to Run

I've broken another mirror
third time is a stale Lucky Charms blue horseshoe marshmallow
Just What I NEED!!!
-21 years of more black cat luck
...I have been known to pluck petals from roses and place them beneath
my pillow
so that I would dream of the Man I Would Someday Marry
the first time I did this
I dreamed of a dark haired dark eyed Jewish New Yorker
he was an attorney
but not a sleazy one
we lived in an apartment
and he
was always
smiling

so many times I have been wrong
I gave all to Love
and Love passed the bong
I found answers & more confusion in the stars
I spent hours calculating synastry
I met strangers in bars
and carved their names into a red candle
thought I could handle
casual sex
thought it would lead to a destined union
that no amount of baggage or bullshit
could lay out flat
on an unsympathetic sidewalk

I thought I could talk
these guys
these men
these strangers in polo shirts
and musky aftershave
into taking me on
and walking me down an eventual aisle

I would smile and fake EVERYTHING
I didn't want a ring
just a ringing telephone
and a burning reason
to buy a new dress
and change
my address

excuse me
for my superstitions
I hold onto them
and pray
and clutch my fists
because everything changes every minute
and I'm too gutless
to resist
Back to the Heart-on-Sleeve Corner