By the guppy
Date: 3 October 2000
lunch
nobody in the world besides me knows what i am thinking at this moment...i guess it's a part of me that's kept secret...?...well, maybe it's just a part of me that has no consequence to anyone else...it probably doesn't even have much consequence to me...people are like that...sharing things they want to share...or feel a need to share...depending on the day, their mood, the company they're with, the circumstances, etc....for every "big" thing that makes up a person, there are probably about a billion little tiny things that also make them up, but are never known to anybody but themselves...what somebody had for lunch on december 15, 1991 just doesn't matter (in most cases), and is probably forgotten anyway...
what would happen if it suddenly became very important that you remember what you had for lunch on december 15, 1991?...say the person you are involved with threatoned to leave you unless you disclose that information to them...why?, because it's very important to him/her, that's why...(we'd probably all think the other person was nuts at that point, but disregard that, you love him/her stronger than anyone you've known, they make you happy)...and say your soulmate brings up the trust card...and wonders why you are keeping it a secret...and asks you with tear-filled eyes why it's such a big deal to open up..."what are you hiding?...don't you love me?...this means the world to me, please tell me...*sob sob*"...he/she will leave you if you don't tell...it will break his/her heart...he/she will also leave if you can't remember..."how could my soulmate not remember something so hugely important???"...and he/she would definitely leave if he/she knew you could lie about something so important...the trust would be gone...
so, you, being completely of sound mind and heart, seem to be screwed...and it's a shame...10 years together...two kids...happiness...you'll probably lie...or try your best to trace back you memory moment by moment...you'll lie...and hope he/she never buys a polygraph machine
you'll lie
he/she will leave
and you'll pay very close attention to what you sob through your heartbroken mouthhole to the fast food restaurant employees every day for the rest of your life...
the "wavelength" thing is extremely important in relationships...it is far more important than knowing all the details of a person...know their wavelength...understand their values/ethics/beliefs...and not just how they talk about themselves...how they talk about others...how they act towards others...you are always included in that "others" part...and, of course, pay attention to all of that stuff within yourself first...if you want to know people you can trust, be a trustworthy person...and learn to recognize the qualities that make you such...emit those qualities...attempt to know people...some of them will be emitting similar qualities...some of them will be trustworthy...it is only through knowing yourself that you can empathize with others...empathy is what bonds...and in my opinion, is what love is all about
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