By Vivian
Date: 26 October 2000

Willingly Waiting

I want, so badly, someone to want me as the whole package...emotions, physical, past-present-future...

Someone who I can confide all of my secrets to..and feel better because they know.  They know me..all of me..what makes me ME. Bad experiences, favorite songs, why I make my bed the way I do. Why I always have to feel in control..I over explain..I am insecure.

I am looking for the person who can absorb all of this and love me because I needed them to know.  I don't care if they understand. I don't care if they relate. I just want them to care enough to listen and hear me out.  Care enough to allow me my whims and indulgences without a second thought.

"I am looking for someone who can take as much as I give, and give back as much as I need and still have the will to live." -Indigo Girls

That sums it up for me. THAT is what I am looking for.  I give and love and obsess and fantasize, but at the end of the day, if it's not going on at the other end..it's pointless!

I am waiting for the time when the timing will be right.  I fall for someone and they fall too.  It's so hard though...I'm beginning to turn shy of it all.  I give myself completely, time after time, to interesting people who turn out to be more of the same, uniteresting fools.  I don't play games. I am upfront and honest. What is the point of being less than direct?

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