By the guppy
Date: 14 August 2000
zen and the art of panic attacks
the horror of opening up a blank fortune cookie...
sitting here wondering whether or not the fortune cookie chef checks the accuracy of his product..."you will run out of ink"...what reaction would he have to that?...what reaction do i have to " "?...it's not no reaction...it's definately something...as are most things...i was hoping for maybe some lucky number predictions or generalized advice regarding romance or finance or any other "ance" word...but, no...nothing...not even a smear mark or stray bit of ink in which i might have been able to envision the face of christ or buddha or vishnu or muhammed or mickey mouse or audrey or the love of my life...this is cleary not a holy cookie...nor is it a good cookie...it is not even a very interesting cookie...i hate this cookie...are you happy now mr. cookie chef?...i didn't even want the stupid cookie to begin with...i didn't order it...i just wanted some shrimp fried rice, hold the enlightenment...and you, dear friend, sitting there giggling at my panic...you can't even relate...yours said "your lucky number is pi", so you proceeded to order dessert...go ahead...laugh...i'm now afraid of blinking because there is a decent chance of nothing being there when my eyes open...i've heard it said that people usually learn to appreciate little things when their lives hang in the balance...good for them...i've learned to appreciate oreos
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