By Elaina princess_ballerina@excite.com
Date: 13 December 2000
Beauty
Am I beautiful? You think I am? Everyone tells me I am. So am I?
When I bleed, because I cut myself to protect the inside pain from surfacing, am I beautiful? When I cry because I don't know what else to do? When I scream, because no one listen other wise, am I beautiful? When I give myself to every guy I meet, because if you don't say no it can't be rape. Because I haide the truth so my friends won't call me a lier and a slut, am I beautiful? When I don't eat, because of fear of gaining weight and being unattractive. When I hate so badly who I am I'd rather die than be me, and I beautiful? When I am so terrified of getting hurt by love, I pretend I don't care. When I betray my best friends just to benefit myself. When I hold grudges against the girl who beat me at prom queen, because I so badly want to be the popular one. When I think all that matters is where you live and what you wear, am I beautiful? When I take shower after shower, because if I keep my outside clean, it will take attention off my horrible inside.When I don't want anyone else to have my ex-boyfriend, and yet I don't want him either, am I still beautiful? When I'm so proud of the fact I'm a spoiled brat. When I hurt you so bad you'll never want to love again, when I make you cry and wish you'd never met me, will I still be beautiful? When I strip you of your dignity and make you out to be the fool, will I still be beautiful?
Right now, am I beautiful? You still think I am. You won't for long.
~well has my attitude changed!!! I really am better off without him!!!!
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