By me aka Niki Fullmoonlover69@yahoo.com
Date: 10 December 2000
a love affair
He comes to her in the night when no one knows
When he comes they don't say much just go on doing our things in silence
The good-bye's take a long time
Then the next night or day it is the same
No one knows about them , it's their little secret
He has a girl waiting for him
You may ask why she does this
It's not love, not at all, only lust
She loved him once, a very long time ago
But he always fucked it up with his lies
She always gave him new chances
Just the last time
But then he met someone else
And he left her all alone in this cold hard world without even saying good-bye
But she just needed to hear that is was over and done
She said" Tell me you don't want me, Tell me you dont love me"
HE said " Why should I, no one knows I was with you last week"
"It doesn't have to do shit with the world, You owe it to ME to tell the truth"
" OK, I don't want you anymore!!!!!,Happy?????"
" Yes"
"anyway I have a girlfriend now and I'm not going to fuck it up with her because I realy like her"
"That sounds like a dare"
"No I know your not going to try to get me back when I have someone else"
" damn right, and Without even trying I always got you back... "
After this she didn't cry a tear
but for the weeks to follow she cried herself to sleep every night
And felt so lonly
they didn't speak to each other for a long time
And he stayed with his girlfriend
But then all of a sudden they just came back together
She just let it happen because she wanted him
She didn't have feelings for him like she used to, she didn't think about him like she used to, But she just needed him in a new way
the heat and passion was so good between them
They kept it up for a while
But then she told him one day
" I think it's beter that we stop this"
"why?"
" because You have a girlfriend, and then this can't go any further and more serious right now and if we go one it has to"
" If I leave her for you"
" I don't want you to"
" Then we can work on someting more serious"
" No I don't want you to leave her forme, I couldn't live with that"
" what you did wasn't a lot better"
" I know but it just happend, I didn't plan it and besides I was with you for a long time before she came along, I know that's not fair but what happend to me wasn't either"
" What do you want then?"
" that we stay friends after this with our little secret, for once after the break-up let's be good friends with all the memories, not enimies like before.."
"don't you care?"
" do you realy want to know the truth?"
" yes"
" not like before, i don't care enough, that's what's missing with us, the love, there isn't any"
" well just try, I can leave her and we can work on the loving part"
"No i don't want anything serious with you"
" And with that you mean that you don't care"
" Just like you never cared for me in the past, and never wanted to be with me"
" well then this is good-bye"
"at least you tell me that now..bye
don't forget me"
" I won't"
She didn't want to stay with him, because you can only stop yourself from falling love with someone untill a certain time
And if she stayed with him, she would fall, again, and hard
So like she always did with guys, she dumped him to avoid that
And She just wanted to break up with him without a big fight or him breaking her heart
And she just since the last breakup she just wanted him for one good last time
She made peace with herself
She showed that she was strong and didn' care
She just turned her back without feeling her heart ache
Now she didn't have the feeling like she was always wondering why he did the things he did why he lied his lies and if he ever cared
She didn't want to hurt anyone on purpose
It just happend and in the end she sorted out some old problems
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