By Crystal
Date: 17 December 2000
Awakening
Four over 3 years I have laughed, cried, hated, and loved,
all at once...
holding on to whatever part of yourself,
you could give me.
The other night...
we had a conversation,
like none before,
not because tears were streaming down my face,
and not because my heart was broken once again by you,
but because when I asked you to read a poem I had written you and posted here.
You asked "Why do you always make me read this shit?"...
oh Jesus those words hit harder than any other mean thing you have ever said!
I replied after picking my jaw up from the floor, and wiping my tears,
"Because I want you to know what you put me through,
and how I still Love you even when you say things...you later regret."
You responded " READ THIS!!"
and I said "I don't have to I wrote it with my heart and it will follow me everywhere I go"
Your eyes were filled with anger,
"Don't you get it? I hurt you...everything I do hurts you, Why would you want to be with me when I treat you so bad? What the hell is your problem?"
Tears flowing steadily from my eyes at this point,
I just looked up and said "Because I want to be the only one you have ever had in your life not to walk away from you!"
And only then, did you become silent...
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