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I haven't rambled here in a while---but since the "big day" is less than 24 days away, I couldn't resist. Everyone knows Blue Christmas---catches a lot of air play this time of year, along with I'll Be Home For Christmas, and it occurs to me that in between the happy couples snuggling under the mistletoe, the engagements, and what not, there are folks who will face Christmas as "singletons" in the words of Bridget Jones.
First off, I think we have all known such a grim holiday. It BITES. I should say from the get go that I will simply not deal with the "religious overtones" of the holiday because a. This is the LOVE BLENDER. b. Too many cultures have their own feast this time of year, so whatever you are celebrating, Chanukah, Kwanzaa Saturnalia, Winter Fest, Merry Monarch, this is about the feeling that you really ARE alone in the world. You're not, honest. I spent one miserable week alone when I was 20---not having a significant other, and wanting one, I went back to college to be miserable in peace, just a few days after Christmas. This meant New Year's Eve alone. I don't think I EVER hated Dick Clark as much as I did that year---but I had done it to myself. My local friends were only too happy to "include" me in their plans.but being the only one with no one to kiss on New Years Eve? Nope.not me. One friend meant well.she offered her boyfriend for the honor---after they were done smooching. Yikes. It was kind---really it was. But it was also unhygienic.and pathetic. I also know that sort of thing can go badly awry. So time to grab the first coach out of Dodge! That holiday, I remember being aware---acutely aware of being alone. And I was just a whiny 20 year old. I wonder what is like for the husbands and wives who have service spouses.not just in Iraq, but anywhere on the planet where you are NOT. That's a way different ache---an absence that photos and phone calls can't fill. And we are not going to talk about commercialism either. I know that come Christmas, if there is a hole in my arms it gets bigger. Hugging is needed. Snuggling is required by the rules. And if there is anything that beats lying under a lit tree, no matter how grand or humble with someone who lights your heart? Well, I haven't heard of it yet. Now those reading this who is alone might be wishing to kick my butt. NICE ONE LISA.now I feel REALLY dejected.but I am on your side, honest. This year, Christmas is going to sting. I'm going to blubber each time I hear Blue Christmas, fall apart when I hear the other one, so don't get the wrong idea. Christmas is about love---argue all you like. It's about love for friends---for family, for lovers, husbands, wives and kids, and it's supposed to be that way. It's human to want someone to cocoon with. Natural to wish to be half a we, instead of a just a "me". But you will get through it. We all will. I am thinking about our parents and grandparents---hard to find even one family who did not have a "distant Christmas" due to World War Two, Korea, or Viet Nam. I wonder how they dealt with it---and if they might consider sharing. But a few ideas.including the ever popular volunteer to help with Christmas at a food kitchen, or a shelter.but DON'T do what I did.don't hole up and wallow. Find something you can enjoy, and DO IT. If your get invited, GO. It might be a Blue Christmas---but it's only one in a life. Try to add some green, some red, some yellow, a little purple perhaps---because very little in our lives is supposed to be monochromatic, or even black and white. And no matter who you are, I hope you have a wonderful New Year, full of warm and delight to come. If Christmas night is cold and clear, I will take a walk and look at the night sky. When I look up, I will know that there are more stars than anyone can count---and I will think of people I wish I could be with---if only long enough to hold, for just that moment. And I will probably find myself paraphrasing the Grinch.(Boris Karloff.Carey tried, but no cigar) ..It came without boxes, it came without bags, it came without wrapping, ribbons or tags.Maybe Christmas isn't something you buy in a store.Maybe.Christmas.is something a little bit more. Christmas will come without hugs, and snuffles and squeals.but that doesn't make Christmas any less real. Happy Holidays everyone..
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