By Elaina
Submitted by blue sky to your clouds
Date: 2001 May 08
Comment on this Work
[[2001.05.08.00.29.16723]]

CiRCleS

Here I stand, one step
out of innocence and two
steps into hell. I can
no longer feel. And I
like it that way, the
numbness, cold yet refreshing.
however, sometimes you
say things, and it warms
me. I feel for a moment
what I've lost, and it scares
me, it scares me so much.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know why you do
what you do. The subconscience
games you play like you were
born to wound me and only me.
Almost as if the only reason
we met was because you are
to punish me for past sins.
And I feel this circle of tears
and laughter will never end. So I let it
build, in the pit of my stomach
and I can do nothing, because I
know nothing. The only direction
I know is the same path
I've already traveled. And
that led me no where I want
to be. Please, don't break
what's already broken, but don't
try to mend what you tore. Just
let things start like you just
met me, and pretend that
I'm not who you know. Please,
no matter how unbreakable I
may seem, I know you can see
through all of that and know
I'm so close to unfixable that
one more blow to the head
(or heart) will kill me. I don't
want to die. I don't want to
go out like that. With no love
to die for, with no hate in my heart,
nothing...numb.