By Me aka Niki
Date: 2001 Jul 16
Comment on this Work
[[2001.07.16.00.33.5865]]

hatred

You know I never thought that it would come to this point
The point that I truly despied my frist love, my only love
The point that I don't even think "what if" anymore
The point that I never want to see him again
I'm happy he went away to college
But I remember that I never wanted to move
Because I wanted to stay his neighbour and see him on a daily basis
But all those feelings of wanting to stay in his life, thinking, hoping he cared or at least you know but never knowing that he couldn't care less and you know
He calles me a bitch and makes me look like a fool in front of everybody, from what I've heard
His girlfriend must think highly of herself
Thinks she is better then I am
And you know what, I'm a really social person
But in this case I don't wish any of that for her
She should shut up not look at me with a I'm-better-then-you-are face (I don't like those faces and ppl with those faces)
Because her mr.boyfriend-perfect isn't as perfect as I heard and saw!
By the way does she know what he wisperd in my ear at 12:30 new years eve,,she doesn't want to know
And she wont because I'm not going to tell her anything even though I want to so bad
I won't sink to his level and I'm to scared
God knows why, if you mess with me you'll get problems
My motto "don't get mad, get even"
But still it's all about HIM--> THE guy, So I just can't
Hate is a very big word, just like love
And I never use them, I've never "loved" anyone, but he came pretty close
And I've never hated anyone untill now
He's the first on my list (I think I'm going to make a list)
How dare he, first using me, playing me, making my life unbeareble, then coming back picking a fight
But all the while I can just fuck up his life
And he knows it
Damn maybe I should tell, make them see who's boss and not to mess with me
But I never thought it would get to this point..