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By Elaina Submitted by blue sky to your clouds Date: 2001 Oct 25 Comment on this Work [[2001.10.25.00.49.2558]] |
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I close my eyes so tight. I let the rain wash me away. I try to forget All of you. My eyes still tear stained I remember the way you taste, I remember the shape of your hands. And I can't let go. This constant hurt pounds on While I wait for you. Yet, I know you'll never give in, So I hold on. I have all this time, But forever is passing me by. I know your every move, And I just watch. I feel the way I hate. Occasionally hating you. But when I look into your eyes, I'm swallowed by wishful thinking. Twisted thoughts create my Hell. All I know is buried and gone. You keep piling on the layers, My memories of love somewhere deep within. My imaginary conception held high, On a pedestal shared with you. Perhaps you don't love me after all. Perhaps I'm not the one you crave. I will never be your desire. Or the one you hold completely. You would never let me, Trust me, oh God, how I've tried. This entire existence Only a nightmare for me. I thought the problem lied in you. But now I know I'm just not the solution. Running circles looking for answers. Interrogating you for all this pain. When the answer has been simple; A mirror is all I need. Now the tears run cold. The fear swells as bitter truth feeds the fire. I'm so in love with you. And you'll never rescue me from drowning. It took so long for the sun to shine. You smile as my clouds roll in. Struck blind by the lightning. But I know somewhere there's blue sky. Everything I wanted lost along the way. Swept up by your cloudy mind. Realizing now you are all I ever needed. But you keep me right at your fingertips. Somewhere way back I slipped. I fell so hard I broke. Labeling myself your blue angel, I ask you...where's your Heaven? |