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By Jon Date: 2001 Oct 31 Comment on this Work [[2001.10.31.03.18.16012]] |
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Never Going to Dance Again If he knew... Would he have answered the phone that day? Would he have just told her that they couldn't go out that night because he had something else to attend too? Would it have made a difference? *Some things are meant to happen. There is no question about that. People come into your life for a reason and they leave your life for a reason. No reason to gripe about love lost because once love is lost the only thing left to do is go out and find it again. "Keep on trucking," you know?* But if he knew what was going to happen...would he have still made that phone call? Seemed just like another normal day, they went out all the time, at least twice or three times a week and this just seemed like another day to spend some time with each other then go back to either of their places and collapse on the bed, take a nap then wake up in the middle of the night for some more "quality time". But if he knew what was going to happen, would he have still called? Would it have mattered? *We have all at one time or another wished we could all go back in time to change an event or an era in our life. But if we changed the events in our past would we still have grown up to be the person we are today? Would we have had the time to grow if we changed the events that hurt us? Or are we who we are because it's in our genes? Is our personality already determined the moments before our own birth? Or is it by some divine intervention that makes us who we are? Is our personality determined by our souls? Or is it a mixture of past events, genes, and divine intervention that make us who we are? Or is there just no reason in hoping to go back in time, not because we know that it's impossible to turn back the hands of time, but because it's impossible to change the way we feel today because that is who we are?* But yet he still called her that day. He picked her up, but he could tell something wasn't in place. He could tell that she had been crying earlier. When you are with someone long enough you can just tell what they went through that day even if they are hiding it. *Why do we, as human beings both guys and girls, adore the one's that ignore us and ignore the one's that adore us? Is there just something about jerks and bitches, sorry for the term, but is there just something about those types of people that draw us? Is it in our blood to just love the challenge of trying to get something we know we cannot have? Why are we so cold hearted towards the one's that adore us? Is it instinct to do that or something deeper and bigger than what we can really understand? Is it karma that drives us to be nice to the mean one's and mean to the nice one's? Are we all just caught up in the endless and ruthless game of "What goes around comes around"?* He asked her what was wrong and after a few denials and minor arguments he finally got it out of her. She told him that she was tired of sharing him, sure they were officially a couple, but it was an open relationship and she was tired of that. It was tearing her apart every night that when he wasn't with her that maybe he was with someone else. That maybe instead of holding her, he was holding someone else. Instead of kissing her, he was kissing someone else and instead of making love to her he was having sex with someone else when he wasn't with her. She was tired of worrying. She loved him and he loved her so there shouldn't have been any problems, he should have just said "Sure babe, I'll only belong to you from now on." After all, she was the best thing that has ever happened to him. He had never been lonely before, not once in his life did he ever feel the emotion known as loneliness, except for when he was away from her. *Why is it as human beings do we feel the need to be with someone? Is it just part of nature for our population to just pair off into couples at one point or another? Or is that the way God intended it to be? The reason why he created Eve, was because Adam was alone and lonely. Why was that? Why do we feel so empty unless there is someone there to help us fill it? Is it co-dependancy or are half of us just magnets while the other half is some form of metal? You can't put a magnet to use unless it sticks to something, and there is that force that draws that magnet towards an object. Maybe our hearts were crafted the same way, when we are alone we feel that pull to go find an object to stick too and once stuck on it the only thing that can pull it apart is if the connection is broken somehow.* But instead of committing himself to her, he told her that he couldn't do that. She asked why and he said he just had too much temptation in his heart to do that for her, that if the relationship didn't remain open he would probably just end up cheating on her. But that wasn't the real reason. The real reason was because he made her cry, and he promised himself he would never make her cry and if he ever did make her cry he believed he didn't deserve her because the only thing he ever wanted to do was to make her smile. *What is it about our morals that we so blindly follow them? Even if they get in the way of our happiness we continue to follow them because we believe somewhere deep down in our minds that we are doing something right. Are we so blinded by our own pride or even our own beliefs that we follow them even knowing it will lead us into agony, defeat and utter loneliness in the end?* She started to cry and he had never seen anything more terrible in his life than her face full of tears. It was such a terrible site that his heart skipped a beat and tears of his own made its way down his face, though he caught every tear with the swipe of his hands. She told him that he knew he was breaking up with her for another reason, and by the look on his face she instantly understood why. She told him that it's a good thing that he made her cry, because he had that much of an effect on her, meaning she cared for him that much that it brought her to tears. He understood that but he also realized that he didn't want to have that kind of effect on her. He didn't want to be the one that had the power to make her cry. He knew he had an immature heart and that this would probably be just the first of many times he would make her cry. He told her she was better off without him, that she was still young there would be others who would come into her life and the one that doesn't make her cry is the one that she should care about and not him. *There are two sides to every story. Why someone is the way they are now and why they are hurting us, but we are all selfish and we think that the world is somehow working against us. And when a relationship comes to an end we blame it on ourselves when maybe we should be celebrating because its just time for yet another beginning. To every end comes a beginning. But tell your heart that and see if it listens.* They argued for what seemed like days, but was really only a few hours. Both crying, stopping, and then crying again. Finally she gave up on him and demanded to be taken home. So he did so. As she got out of the car she gave him one last look, and that is a look that he would never forget. He heard it said before but he had never seen it on someone's face, on her face it said "I love you." His face said it back, but they both knew by then it was over. If he knew what was going to happen that day, would he have still called her? Would he have picked her up? Or would he have changed his plans. Would it have made a difference? Would it have mattered? All he knew was...he was never going to dance again, the way he danced with her. |