|
By Elaina Submitted by blue sky to your clouds Date: 2001 Nov 25 Comment on this Work [[2001.11.25.20.13.32657]] |
|
Tears run a shady color gray. My heart broken, yet still beating just the same. The bitter-sweet taste of revenge lingers like a soft summer breeze. And I burn under the rays of the golden sun. Lying to you, claiming it felt better not to care (just like you said). But I was lying because I never fully felt that. And I've often thought allowing yourself to feel love will surly end in pain. Yet it is far worse not to feel at all, not to care, not to kiss someone thinking you could build to love, than to fear feeling, caring, and loving. I'm walking in a dark alley, hiding my face in the shadows, I'm so ashamed for the way I'm acting. Fully enjoying my life though drunken eyes. Seeing that love will never exist, so why care about giving yourself to someone, and taking them as well. Not realizing I'm building a reputation I've spent my whole life running from. Letting them label me, and use me for there own pleasure, as long as they hold me until I'm sleeping. As long as they make me feel accompanied for a short moment, I'll let them use me. The eyes that I'm seeing the world with are no longer innocent. No longer hopeful. I put the past behind me not missing you at all, and the future just a cloudy haze that I sometimes wish I won't live to see. You see I feel now what's it's truly like not to care, and I'm having more fun being faded upon every night, finding someone new to whore myself out to. I can now honestly say it is so much better not caring at all. |