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By Jon Date: 2002 Feb 02 Comment on this Work [[2002.02.02.14.23.21983]] |
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I have always had a thing for sad love songs. I love them. You know the type of songs I'm talking about "I love her but she wont love me back blah blah blah". On my computer I have probably the greatest collection of sad sappy love songs that you can find anywhere on this planet. It's so sad that after listening to a few of the playlists on my computer you might want to consider shooting yourself. I'm not depressed, or at least I don't think I'm depressed, I smile all the time if that means anything. Maybe I listen to sad sappy love songs to prepare myself for the hurt that I know I'm going to feel in the end. I can deny it and say that this one will be different. But really, who am I kidding? I guess in a way I'm always expecting every relationship I'm in to end like a sad love song. And they kind of always do end like that. Me being left out in the cold, I love her but she doesn't love me, she loves someone else, I'm not who she needs right now etc etc etc. Lets get one thing straight: I have never broken up with a girl. They have always broken up with me. I don't know if whether or not that's a good thing or a bad thing, or if whether or not I should break down into tears or laughter. Lets get this other thing straight too: I love you. I never asked or expected to fall in love with you. It just happened. How could I help it? I don't know what you did, but you made me fall hard, head over heals in love with you kinda hard. I think about you all the time. I think about you even when I'm thinking about something else because in the end I just end up thinking about you anyway. I tried to name all the negatives about you, but all I came up with is how you can never decide which radio station to leave it on while I'm driving, but I think even that's cute. I love you and for once in a very long time, I actually mean it. But I guess the idea of you falling in love with me was nothing more than just a fantasy I conjured up. Just a sweet dream of mine I hoped that I would never wake up from. It's just that I pictured you and me doing so much together. Simple things really... Like holding your hand. Holding you close...never letting go Spending almost every waking hour with you Standing in line for something and having you by my side Stealing a kiss here and there Laughing and talking for hours Become something stronger than "you" or "I" or even "us" Something called forever And sometimes I think of the big things we could have done together Maybe move out Get a place Start a life Fall in love But like I said the idea of you ever falling in love with me was nothing more than just a sweet fantasy I conjured up in this hopeless romantic head of mine. So I guess the story of you and me is going to end just like another sad love song. Can't say I wasn't expecting this kind of hurt though... What kind of sad love song is it this time? "I love you and you won't ever love me" Or "I love you and I'm not or ever will be what you need or want" Doesnt' really matter Just know that I love you I was just hoping that this time... I was listening to a song with a happy ending. A song that ended like this "I love you too." But that is nothing more than just a sweet fantasy of mine... |