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By Laurel Ahlfeld Date: 2002 Feb 15 Comment on this Work [[2002.02.15.08.08.11081]] |
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I almost called you today. I'd planned out everything I was going to say. It would have to have been very straight forward and honest. Something like, "Look, what I did two years ago was stupid. I didn't know what I was letting go. I know now and have for quite some time exactly how stupid I was. I'm hoping someday you'll forgive me for my ignorance, and until then I'll miss everything about you." Then you probably wouldn't have said anything for a while, which would have created an awkward silence until one of us claimed they had to go. I can't face awkward silences, so it's a good thing I only "almost called." Then again, I actually dialed all eleven numbers and let it ring nearly one whole time. It's amazing how many thoughts can run through one's mind in such a small gap of time. "What if she answers instead?" "Don't do it! It's Valentines Day." "I'm afraid of what he'll say." "I bet he's at work now anyway." "You've got to do it. It's Valentines Day!" "Maybe they're...um...celebrating." "I hope no one's there." "AGH! I can't do this!" And then I slammed down the phone and felt sorry for my cowardly self. Now, here I am, still moping at 11:30 at night on Valentines Day. So, anyway...I almost called you today... |