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By RainbowChaser Date: 2002 Sep 10 Comment on this Work [[2002.09.10.23.43.16691]] |
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Fuck you for all that you've done, all that you've demanded of me Forget what you asked, and what I gave Don't think about me, and that my feelings might be hurt Don't wonder if I may be doing all right Focus instead on the undeniable fact that you are #1 That your concerns are always right, always reasonable Don't concern yourself with how many tears that I've cried or how many times I wake up at night crying Don't apologize to me for taking something away from me, that has haunted me ever since You can't go back to when I was innocent, and give that back to me What you've taken away can never be regained I'm tarnished, I'm incomplete, I'm hungry I'm searching the whole world for a cure, an answer to all this madness I am haunted by a vision of what I should be I pray every day to wake up from this nightmare, to find myself clean unharmed and with a big smile on my face You ask if I can ever forgive you Fuck you is my reply You weren't there for me, when i needed you, when I begged for mercy Instead you pushed me down into the gutter, and kept me there as your prisoner for so long Mother, Father, Friend, Foe, Best Friend-Where were you when I cried? Where were you when I couldn't climb the mountain because I was weak You were on top of the mountain, but refused to offer me your hand instead you kicked your feet straight out, and struck my chin As I lay there bleeding, the remorse you felt in your heart, swelled You tried to apologize, to love me, but now I lay here bleeding, and wounded, I stubbornly decided that I would rather bleed instead of ask for you to help me again It's hard to ask for your help Even harder to face, that maybe all the effort, all the forgiveness I had given you may be in vain, may be wasted, and uncalled for What do you want from me? Does it satisfy you that all the insecurities gnaw at my heart? That I am half the woman I want to be does it make you smile to see that every single day I wake with a tear in my eye for all the lost yesterdays? I used to think that I was doomed, satan's spawn But the more I realize, the more I see that God has given me a place on this Earth it has been said that each of us have a purpose If my purpose was to take all the pain in the world, and bear it, then I would do it happily. If my sorrow results in your happiness, then so be it If the thought of me running crazy, fosters sanity in your soul, then all the pain I have suffered would be worth it tenfold. Please don't misunderstand me When I say fuck you, it doesn't mean that I haven't forgiven every last one of you The hurt you caused me wasn't entirely your fault It was my fault for allowing myself to be vulnerable, to be hurt But you know what..I am going to be stronger by learning to deal with pain Being vulnerable is a necesity to achieving happiness in life Although you may get hurt The rewards of being loved are among the greatest in the world SO, instead of fuck you, I offer no apologies, but instead say I love you for showing me human imperfection |