By RainbowChaser
Date: 2002 Oct 21
Comment on this Work
[[2002.10.21.16.20.31063]]

I can't go there

I can't go there
to everyone else, it's silly, superficial, naive
But to me, it's heartwrenching, yet aggravating, but completely unavoidable
But I get a lump in my throat whenever memories of you collide in my brain

There are some places that I can't go without the feeling that I'm betraying you
that this is a place special enough only to share with you
that if I avoid these places, my heart will heal and you will be just a memory
But do I really want that?

That's just too much of us
It doesn't matter where it is, it could be a road that we travelled on together
some distant, spontaneous destination tbat only we shared
but i can't bring myself to do it

You are a part of my day, everyday
When I wake up, I see the blankets that we cuddled under, the pillow that we dreamed about our future together under
And it pains me slowly, more each day
But I can't bring myself to go there

To admit that you are gone is one more hardship I can't bear right now
I've admitted that you're gone, and that I'm a separate entity without you, but I can't replace our memories with new ones
Do you feel that way?
Are there things you can't do without thinking of me?

Does the memory of LEgrange, Illinois, or Kroger cross your mind on a lonely, stormy Thursday
Do constant runs to Taco Bell leave you feeling empty inside
DOes the taste of StarBucks leave a thirst in your mouth for your past
Or do you go there with no regret, no longing, no past memories

Can you go there?
Because I can't go there, I've tried, and failed miserably
If you can go there, then you are a stronger person than I
and I admire you, I know that one day I will go there even if its before I leave