|
By RainbowChaser Date: 2003 Feb 20 Comment on this Work [[2003.02.20.14.02.16719]] |
|
Loving you is like riding a rollercoaster only i hate rollercoasters they make me sick to my stomach and the fear of never getting off terrifies me more than anything in the world Your words soothe my heart at times but yet wound me others you proclaim your love to me in one breath and your utter disgust in another how is it that your flaws appear so easily in me that all my flaws appear effortlessly before your magnifying glass while all your mistakes are so easily erased as if by white-out I know i'm not perfect nor do I proclaim to be but i'm sick of involuntarily playing king of the mountain with you only to be lying on the ground with the air knocked out of me no one can compete with your ego you are far to skillful to compete with the likes of me why are you so insecure that you have to attack the person who loves you so much that they turn the other cheek to avoid hurting you you are a rollercoaster making me ill hurting me but most of all making me cry so much some days, i wish all this would just end i've thought of getting off the ride known as your life but who would be there for you then should i even care you knew when we met..that i promised no lies, no games, no pain somehow i was the only one who kept that promise you are the one who keeps slicing my old wounds to allow them to bleed again and again and causing me to cry without hesitation why are you this way what in your life has caused you to hate others so much to be so bitter and jealous for the alleged advantages others hold over you the privileges that only you've been denied my life is no bed of roses I don't want to compete against you i only want to love you and be loved in return love shouldn't be a rollercoaster ride some say rollercoasters are fun, thrilling although, i've never ridden one this is close enough to show me I don't like what I'm feeling i never know what to expect from you the second you enter the door will you be happy, appreciative of me of put me down, disgusted by my inadequacies do you know how many men long to have a loyal companion by their side you say i've fucked up more than any one woman should what bout you you're the one who constantly puts me down but doesn't let me offer excuses for my imperfections i'm glad god has granted you the gift of perfection that you are worthy of infinite praises for just breathing everyday and putting others down are you suprised that you have no friends that people avoid you like the plague those who are loyal to you only get burned and are left to suffer the scars for years to come i've only known you for a couple of months but already i wish i'd never met you at times your good times are vastly overshadowed by your madness i begin to wonder if your rollercoaster is laced with mental illness you're causing me to go insane making me a prisoner of my own apartment, existence, soul you offer no relief only more pain either i need to get off mid-ride and go against everything i've ever believed in abandon you like everyone else and never ask why or you need to stop this and appreciate me for who i am i'm reeling so badly from all the spiteful things you've said to me that sometimes a razor blade sounds more friendly than your lips and would comfort me more than you've ever been able to but i'm not crazy, and if i have to leave you to ensure my sanity then that's what i must do and leave you behind for all eternity and pick up the pieces of my shattered heart and soul do you really love me or am i just the object of your sick posession do you think you own me so much that you can abuse me at whim i really hope that all my hurt is clouding my judgement and that you haven't kept me blinded all this time please let me get off this ride hopefully with you by my side i didn't lie when i said i loved you and i needed you i just hope that when you promised me the moon you weren't lying either |