Ballad of Howard Lee

O! I wanna be like Howard Lee, cause he don't give a hoot.
Sleeps in a cave with a big black bear, head on a red oak root.
He walks the back roads of our country all the day and night.
Traps what he eats with a big steel trap, he fish with dynamite.

O! One day in Louisiana, while on a three day drunk,
He crossed a sheriff's deputy, with a shotgun in his trunk.
On that fateful night old Howard died; shot just like a skunk.
One more less around, we lost another town's famous drunk.

They wrapped him up in barbed wire, and sewed him in a sheet.
They planted him in the city dump, sixty inches deep.
But from that dark crib he crawled, into the light he bailed.
Not dead, instead, old Howard Lee raised his head and wailed

O! ........ you oughta be just like me, 'cause I don't give a hoot.
Sleep in a cave with a big black bear, head on a red oak root.
I walk the back roads of my county all the day and night.
I catch what I eat in a big steel trap, and I fish with dynamite.

Old sheriff's young deputy shot me, the town's last old coot.
I loved the gals wholeheartedly, I really do give a hoot.
But I'll be back to steal your gals, you can count on me.
I'll meet 'em in a back corn field, and under the red oak tree.

You try to teach her, preacher, but I've already taught her.
Lock up your daughter, I'll do more than test the water.
Kiss and hug, fix their fences, take care of their every whim.
Steal from a prized flower patch; sing a sweet ditty to 'em.

'Til cows come home, chickens roost, fill needs with a grin.
You best watch out, unless I'm dead, I'll run off with all of 'em!
Sleep in a cave with a big black bear, head on a red oak root.
You'll wanna be just like me, cause I don't give a hoot!

(c) 2003 Charles L. Greer & Rennie Lorca

Several versions of this little song exist -- here's one ..... Rennie