By Crystal
Date: 2003 Jul 01
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[[2003.07.01.10.30.5921]]

Hiding


In my bedroom,
I feel comfortable to be myself,
to crawl into bed, curl up into a ball,
with the memories of all you've ever said,
and the emptiness of all that you have not,
and cry myself to sleep.

I do this because I am so broken hearted,
and I find myself no longer praying,
that you will come to terms with your feelings,
and explain to me what exactly is going on,
but instead,
praying that I will forget that I once knew you,
forget that you ripped my life apart.

The next morning, I lie awake in bed and I am so saddened that I am feeling this way.
All of these mixed emotions are driving me into the deepest darkest place I have ever been- alone in my room, to just cry.

But outside of those four walls,
I am nothing more than an actress onstage,
portraying a confident, happy strong woman, to some,
and a cocky bitch to others.
  
How I wish that I could be the person,
everyone expects me to be and not have to hide myself for the fear of arguements.