By Kevin Spacey
Submitted by CordovaGirl
Date: 2003 Jul 24
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[[2003.07.24.22.06.961]]

Beauty in the world

     I'd always heard that your entire life flashes before your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second, isn't a second at all. It stretches on forever, like, an ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout Camp, watching falling stars...and yellow leaves from the maple trees, that lined our street.  Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her hands seemed like paper. And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird.  And Janie...and Janie.
And Carolyn.  
     I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much; my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember, to relax...and stop trying so hard to hold onto it. And then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but gratitude, for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry, you will someday.