|
By RainbowChaser Date: 2003 Jul 26 Comment on this Work [[2003.07.26.18.18.26777]] |
|
Control is what i seek in all facets of my life control comes from denying yourself by doing this you are shown your inner soul your inner most hunger and with that comes self awareness it may be a lot of hard work but in the end it satisfies me like nothing else can and proves that i'm a worthwhile person i control portions i deny food just to see a smaller number on the scale and to somehow feel sane in this hell of a world that i've allowed myself to be subjected to control allows me to gain something that no one else can give me peace of mind if you knew would you run i know how much you like control why do you keep all your emotions bottled up maybe its why i turned to this once again to deny myself, so that i can supress my emotions i don't want to scare you away that is my deepest fear to control my every move so that you won't feel controlled, suffocated, or traumatized by my overemotion overemotion is a staple of my vocabulary my very being is encased in emotion intellect is a by product but emotion seep from my pores for not only myself, but for others as well the numbers go down on the scale making the hunger pains easier to control and my mind harder to focus but i think so much anyway, that this is a mini vacation from thought i will continue to appreciate control until at last there is no need but in the end, it's the only thing i have to hold onto my perfect idea of control...but does it even exist? |