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By Jon Date: 2004 Feb 19 Comment on this Work [[2004.02.19.06.29.2690]] |
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I feel like the next move I make is going to be the wrong one. I keep messing up and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I love her more than I could ever possibly imagine, but it never seems like enough. I don't know what to do. It seems like everyone around me is having serious relationship problems, but each one is something explainable and, eventually, solvable. I don't even know where to begin. I don't know what I'm feeling, but I know that I've built my entire life around her and I just can't imagine a tomorrow without her; I wouldn't want to either. I feel like she deserves better and I just wish I could be what she deserves. Sometimes I stare at the first "professional" picture we took together. I envy the man sitting there with the girl of his dreams wrapping her arms around him. I remember him thinking to himself, "Wow, this is it." I keep the image of her smiling in that picture so I can recall it when I'm feeling sad. I can see him grinning and trying not to smile because he's so afraid of losing her and he thinks that if they break up and he looks at this picture with him smiling he'll remember how happy he was and not want to love anymore. He looks so happy and so does she. I just wish I could make her that happy again. |