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By Men Submitted by Lolly Gaggin Date: 2004 Apr 03 Comment on this Work [[2004.04.03.21.13.31144]] |
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"I'm Goin' Fishin'" (I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.) "It's a Guy Thing." (There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.) "It would take too long to explain..." (I have no idea how it works.) "Can I help with dinner? (Why isn't it already on the table?) "Take a break, Honey, you're working too hard." (I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.) "We share the housework." (I make the messes; you clean them up.) "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses." (The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.) "You look terrific." (Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving.) "You know I could never love anyone else." (I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.) "That's interesting, dear." (Are you still talking?) "I heard you." (I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me.) "I'm not lost; I know exactly where we are." (No one will ever see us alive again.) "You know how bad my memory is." (I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday...) And of couse, "Uh-huh, sure, honey, yes, dear" ...really means -- absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. BYE! |