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By wolfscreamer Date: 2004 Jun 28 Comment on this Work [[2004.06.28.12.46.29844]] |
| Last night I went to the beach again,warmer than my last visit but the moon still lit the sky and the distant voices could still be heard carried on the breeze as the pubs and clubs turned out.Somehow the expanse of sky and sea seem to make insignificant the loneliness of one individual in the whole scheme of things.Once again armed with a pack of cigarettes but this time also a bottle or two of my favourite California white I wandered out to the rocks.There is I think no better place to go to think things out than the beach,the sound of the waves getting louder as the night draws in, the moon casting just enough light to make them out if you look real hard.Two nights ago I dreamt I was walking along this beach hand in hand with someone but it wasn,t you,who it was I couldnt see but it felt good just to have fingers mixed with mine again.As always dreams don,t let you go where you want them to and I never got to see who was walking the sand with me but it felt so real,maybe thats why I went there last night.I want someone in my life,I have wasted too many years on you but I know you will re-appear at inconvenient moments in my mind and I,m scared of that.I,m not happy with my life as it is but life with someone new now Hmmmm.I know my life now,this life I can do even though it has its downs,I don,t want to hurt someone new and sadly I know I would.In my dreams it seems I can still walk along the beach and feel the sand between my toes and someones hand in mine and though not real it FEELS real and I can live with that.When the sun came up I walked along the sand with my eyes closed just in case.No-one held my hand. |