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By Dana Date: 2005 Jan 08 Comment on this Work [[2005.01.08.11.04.15188]] |
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You have made me cold and bitter inside. I hate the way I feel when I hear your name. I try so hard to ignore the mood it brings me to but, I just can't seem to fight the truth. I cannot ignore what I feel and shut it out as though it didn't exist. My pain is real. My agony, my frustration, my anger, my resentment are all real and I am not capable of hiding it. You constantly are thinking of yourself, constantly thinking of how things affect you. Instead, you should think about how much effort you don't put forth and realize that you need to do more. A lot more. If nothing else, you should do it for the children. I won't let them see how you've betrayed them; how you've betrayed me. I won't let them hurt the way I do. I won't allow them to be tainted by your actions. I won't let you make them cold and bitter inside like you have done to me. You have been the issue of so many arguments and I just cannot change the way I feel, or the way I show it. I am unable. You have done this to me and now I can't stop it. I can't make it go away. I can't change it. I can't pretend. I really do wish that I could. You are often wanting favors yet, you are willing to give nothing in return, presenting your usual self. Don't you feel any guilt? Obviously you don't or you'd do something about it. I used to want so much more from you. I used to expect more but, I've come to realize you're looking out for number one and those who you've picked to be number one in your life. I've come to realize that you're not capable of changing the way you are. Either that, or you just don't want to. You should care more; You couldn't begin to understand what you're missing out on by picking your number ones. Cold and bitter. It's all I can feel when I think of you. |