By hollywoodfox
Date: 2005 Jan 21
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[[2005.01.21.11.42.29680]]

A Cleansing of The Palate

Between courses of a fine gourmet meal, the chef will often serve a mild fruit or mint sorbet. The purpose of the sorbet, of course, is to wash away any taste or memory of the courses preceding it, a cleansing of the palate. It removes good or bad, sweet or sour. It readies you to move on to the next part of your meal.

Apparently the notion of cleansing one's palate has migrated into the practice of the dating world. Starting anew. Tying up loose ends with one's past. Even some that may have already dissolved on their own. But of course, there's always that person who feels necessary to go back and recount all "bad things" they've done. They are advised (or sometimes pressured) into ridding themselves of 'guilt' or 'pain' by apologizing to those they've wronged or turning unclear endings into definite ones. This apparently makes one feel better, by transferring burden onto those they are apologizing to.

For example, if a man cheats on his girlfriend, he might be advised to come clean and tell her everything, so that they may enjoy a healthy, open relationship. He tells her of his infidelity and is instantly pure again. Refreshed, ready to continue with their lives together. How good it feels to tell the truth! While she is dealing with the new wound of a straying partner, (he's so glad he told her, he doesn't want to lie to her! She must love him more now.), he embarks on a new crusade to clear up anything that might have been hazy, harmful, or hurtful in his past.

He calls his parents, letting them know he has gotten a tattoo and will no longer be able to be buried in the normal part of the Jewish cemetary. He will have to be buried with the crippled and converts. Mother has a heart attack, but by golly! Ain't it good to tell the truth!

His brother now knows it was him who stole their uncle's credit cards, and forgives him for both broken legs and being thrown out of the family.

Lastly, among all the good he has done, he decides to call the girl he formerly was seeing on the side to set the record straight. He reminds her that he has indeed chosen his girlfriend over her, and that there is no chance in the future of them ever being together. Oh, and did he mention that he never in fact had feelings for her? No? Well, now she knows. And isn't it so much better to know? The truth shall set you free.

But wait! What is this? She doesn't seem to care that he's valiantly made this sacrifice of his OWN humility to call and make sure he was in the clear. It seems she hadn't cared the past five months since she last spoke with him, and she doesn't care now. How could this be? Certainly she must still be pining for him, waiting for him to realize he had made the wrong choice! He hears snickering on the other end of the phone.

"I never loved you. I want to make that quite clear," he explains, "Don't you feel better knowing that?"

"Are you quite done? It seems to me that the purpose of your phone call has been achieved," she amusedly replies.

He hangs up, and re-adopts the attitude that justice has been done. The poor girl can now go on with her life, and once again resume her quest for love.

She hangs up and laughs, then calls her friend to say that some idiot (whose name she barely remembers) called to dismiss her after they had been out of contact for 5 months.

He certainly put her in her place.