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By snapperhead Date: 2005 Feb 23 Comment on this Work [[2005.02.23.15.05.11579]] |
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I have been having the oddest thoughts today. I can't really describe what's going on in my head but it's made me very sad not knowing. It's almost like I do know but I don't want to acknowledge it for what it is - what I'm thinking and feeling. I don't want my bubble bursting before I'm ready to pick up the pieces from the mess it will make. I'm usually so sure of everything that I do, mostly because I don't plan anything and I just let life happen with no regrets in the outcome of any of my actions, and to have these feelings of confusion clouding my mind I wonder if I should be thinking like this at all. Is it all just something that I have going on in my head that I can't let go or is there something external that can be corrected and fixed to make things easier for me to understand? I guess it's just one of those great things about life - that you can never predict and you can never truly understand everything. Understanding a thing completely takes away so much of the mystery which is what we crave from the beginning since the unknown shines brighter than the known. We always want what we can't have. You know the little spill on that... I think that this is just my own personal turmoil unraveling. Or it could just be PMS or something. That is the ultimate excuse for everything a woman does, the underlying cause for it all. It makes sense if you think about it. Sometimes when I talk to you it validates my concerns and then sometimes it makes me feel stupid for even thinking about it. I will just stay in purgatory for a while before I let myself out and get some fresh air and a fresh prospective on everything. Then, everything will be fine and dandy. I love you. |