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By Dana Date: 2005 Feb 24 Comment on this Work [[2005.02.24.12.39.3076]] |
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I am so in-love with you and yet, I feel like we're having problems, as though we are losing our connection. Today I saw you in a different light. Today I didn't like what I saw. It feels as though my heart's been shattered and I'm struggling to pick up the pieces. Today I felt as though I come second in your eyes and no matter what I do or say you'll get defensive towards me and side with her unconditionally. I understand your need to protect her but, I feel as though I should come first. We've been in this position before only the tables were turned. Do you remember? You felt as though you should come first. It was difficult to see you protect her instead of me. It was painful to think that maybe you have changed too. For so long, I've been thinking it's just been me. I've been feeling so guilty for not having made the time and I know this is my fault. Maybe I've made you resentful and bitter. Maybe my resentment and bitterness has rubbed off on you. I cannot help the way I feel and I cannot help but show it. What I thought was a relationship between her and I, I now feel was just for show. She is not the person she portrays. You seem to care so much about the little things that might hurt her, and yet, you seem to care so little about the big things that destroy me. I finally understand and it's killing me. This different side I see has brought me a great deal of misery. I'm afraid of the thoughts I've been hiding. I fear the pain I have inside. I fear the tears I need to shed. I feel like there are unspoken words or thoughts between us. I feel like the romance is missing; like we don't have the opportunity to be romantic with one another. I feel like we don't have enough time for us. I'm so in-love with you and I love the person that you are. I don't want our relationship to change. I don't want us to lose our connection and I'm truly afraid for our future. |