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By callaphair Date: 2006 Mar 14 Comment on this Work [[2006.03.14.11.20.2856]] |
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It had been 10 years, 5 months and 26 days since I had heard that voice. I would have known it anywhere. I never expected to hear it again. I never wanted to hear it again. I wanted to forget you existed. I wanted to forget "we" existed. All of a sudden, everything came back to me: the pain, the hurt, the hopelessness, the torment, the suffering, the despair. I froze; experiencing such an intense visceral reaction I had to leave. Even after this long, just one singular word can debilitate me. You hurt me in so many ways, I thought moving away would end my fear of running into you. I thought I would never again feel so violated, shamed and empty. I was wrong; it just took 3,832 days to happen. I know I have made many mistakes in my life. I thought letting you hurt me the first time was the biggest, but it wasn't. The biggest mistake I have ever made was thinking that you would never hurt me again. |