By average philly chic
Date: 2006 Mar 19
Comment on this Work
[[2006.03.19.13.19.15444]]

im scared...not of you...but of my past

i've been hurt so many times
i got tired of being lied to,cheated on, and disrespected
so i said to myself,"turn the tables,chic make them feel ur pain"
so i did.
i hurt so many dudes...and i failed to realize that i was hurting them and myself.
i failed to realize that i was making it harder for them to trust chics after me...and i was making it harder for me to trust myself with other's feelings,secrets,wants and needs.
now i'm ready...i want to be with you...i want to shed ALL of my disgressions  from the past.
but im scared...
God knows i dont want to hurt you
i wanna be here for you
i wanna give myself to you with no faults
no secrets
no SHAME
but everytime you hug me
kiss me
hold me in your arms
gaze into my eyes
my past slowly arises to remind me of all that i've done
to remind me that there IS a possibility that i will hurt someone very close to me...
so if i sometimes shy away from u please understand..
im not drawin or actin funny
i wanna be with you...i want to shed ALL of my disgressions from the past..to create a new life new love with you that will always last...but u gotta understand
...i'm scared.