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By not*about*you Date: 2007 Feb 11 Comment on this Work [[2007.02.11.00.37.2646]] |
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the fact that you have to turn from here and there and i go along with it the denial a twisted truth and i go along with it the change of heart then posing cold ignorance all along claiming to have a grasp on all of it every word every sigh every last thought to avoid a moment of truth to avoid conquering this battle to avoid explanations we go around dancing circles everywhere at once in this turning testing time in your fear to trust anyone anything anytime even yourself. and i know that i give the proper responses, the proper denials, everything to keep your paranoia from peaking *pop* into abyss because i would do everything in my power to always keep you believing that you are in control. but i am wrong treating you as a child. giving you everything you desire. so that i am more than a muse a toy toyed toying i am more than your heart i am more than just a ghost i am not merely an illusion or a test... am I? i am something you have hidden from yourself... yet you find it again and again and destroy it. what am i? a real answer is deserving at this point... don't you agree? who am i? not me. no, just turn the other way... running running... this madness of your mind meaning well but finding harm... i have seen with my own eyes, your face change, your smile and eyes your body and glance, all in a days time you shapeshift, you become overcome by something beyond your own control so in the change, often brief, often not you must control every last detail around you, in you, about you, anywhere in sight. i was never out to ruin you. i was here to show you some light. but you prefer, it is now CLEAR - to hide in the darkness of your own demise. this is the last time my love. and i don't use the endearment lightly, this is the absolute last time that i will continue chasing colors for your fantastical delight... giving you every last inch of meaning to make sense of it all... you need to find your voice with me truly. you need to find a way, without the cursing backstabbing trailing tagging posting and stalking. why are you so afraid that i won't understand. i obviously understood a long time ago. is everything programmed agenda for you? well dearest, just don't doubt it is my heart that is pure with the intention to stand by your side, wherever you may hide... to save you? NO, you don't want saving. to love you? NO, you don't want good 'ol simple country lov'n. invent the answer. find it. i will be waiting and listening intently. waiting for your own childish boyish mind to grow up already. yes, you did recently refer to me as a child... i ranted, but then, i swallowed my pride.. because if you can't see beyond the mask, beyond the "rhetoric", beyond the logic, beyond anything you can understand, then i can't force you to OPEN YOUR EYES. it has always been right here before you. and you always run to your old guise. your room(s) of lies. i should be the one forgiving you, where is my apology? you just have to know that i know. perhaps you've met your match. you make up stories as you go along here and there and everywhere... where's the truth? well, i know the truth, the magician down the street whispered in my ear a deal. you won't be sorry, you won't be angry, you will just be the you, the other you, the other other other you... and it goes on lost in the maze with a map. |