|
By redplasticroses Date: 2007 Sep 03 Comment on this Work [[2007.09.03.01.00.27568]] |
|
Sleep hides behind lies My heart too shattered to rest My soul is tired, weary I want to dream in a place far away where he will never find me I turn on the light numb fingers tapping on keys rapidly to vent my pain wondering why he did not bother to find another married person to mind fuck to consume I am so disappointed in him in the man I thought I knew in the father who hugs his daughter knowing she will find men like him the world is full of them I laugh to myself as tears roll into the corners of my mouth wondering why I thought I was so special that they would pass me by I sob wondering why he could not tell the truth when I handed it to him over and over on a silver platter what was he hoping to save? Obviously, only his own pride Not his wife's, not mine I hear his voice his lies it hurts to the bone and beyond This is not a detour it's the end of the road I never thought we would end especially just as the world was turning crimson and gold just as the fields of beans work their magic the road ahead uncertain for both of us I know I will find the road back to to somewhere between where I've been and a place I'll never go again but right now I am lost, just like him in the pain he made the pain he chose for each of us somewhere between lies and healing as the world prepares for autumn I look out over the field his shadow absent behind me as the scent of pungent damp earth fills the night air there are no happy endings here only sad songs that seem to come from every direction the universe is comforting me a thin slice of the waning moon my unreliable witness to the sharp edge pebbles that like love, have cut too deep this wound ,a twisted lie refuses to heal With a glass of wine I examine his words over and over dissecting them into small pieces looking for even the smallest trace of truth among them I wonder if he'll ever miss me my touch or how I felt wrapped around him If he will stare into a glass of red wine and hear it whisper my name see the words he penned on the cork of each bottle we shared I throw handfuls of them in the trash then silently retrieve them for safe keeping someday I will revisit them not now I am too fragile this is where the road ends The neighbor's cat coils around my ankle I gently caress him like a long lost love with a sympathetic ear and a warm heart his purring, unconditional love I, like the cat, am helpless searching for a soft landing life is fragile fragile and unpredictable I wonder who he prays to who he talks to in the middle of the night I have a history with him but no future the way the king of lies and deception intended it to be right from the start Suddenly I understand "who has the power" and a wiser, kinder person tosses it into the prevailing wind |