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By Ali Date: 2007 Oct 06 Comment on this Work [[2007.10.06.19.45.24220]] |
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I don’t want to hear those words, love. No. Yes, I admit—it’s a beautifully crafted concession, a conceding glance that does more than linger: it looks back, and actually sees. Contrary to popular belief (as propagated by Hallmark cards and after-school-specials everywhere), hindsight is not always 20/20. In fact, hindsight can be even murkier than...regular sight. Why? Well, there’s an inherent problem in the dynamic of memory. Like a candle blown out, you can’t see the smoke in the dark. But, if you close your eyes, you’ll remember the light. And not the smoke. Because the light has a way of sticking with you. You see my point? But that’s neither here nor there, I guess. What you said...is nice. It’s heartfelt and sincere. But the trouble with it, is not necessarily with you. Because hearing the words you want to hear, but from somebody else—it’s like cutting your finger on a dream that isn’t yours. It hurts, more than it should. And it’s a pain that needs to be owned. Or disowned. It needs a different kind of salve. So forgive me if I don’t smile, no matter how you dance, or sing. Stars still shine, I know. But it’s not about you. I just can’t stumble beyond my own heart, right now. Because I’m more than dizzy and confused. I am missing a man who should be missing me. And it’s more than just a shadow of something else—it’s a whole, new universe. And I don’t know my way around it yet. |