By ~Harem~
Date: 2007 Nov 18
Comment on this Work
[[2007.11.18.14.03.12666]]

Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry or LIMA BEANS

The opportunity to have sex without committment,
without feelings, without romance, without love,
appears in almost everyone's life - at some point or
another.

To some this idea is most appealing,
but to others it is a neutral thing,
and yet to still others, it is  repugnant.  

But I believe that there is not a person alive,
that has not come across this option at some time
or other in their life.

I used to think that people's reactions to this
opportunity was based upon their morals, values,
or upbringing .

But as I have gotten older - I tend to think that
it is the person's own personality that dictates
his or her reaction to the opportunity for physical
union without Feelings.

It's sort of like your taste for food.  Some like
chocolate ice cream while some prefer vanilla or
strawberry.  I happen to like all three  but I think
you get what I am trying to say.

I personally don't like Lima Beans, not because
I was raised that way, or because of
any religious upbringing.  My parents liked them,
but I don't.  It's as simple as that.

Getting back to the title of this jib-jab.
I was thinking of an event that happened when I was
15 years old.  And yeah, I know that the fact that
I was still a virgin and had no experience in the
subject - did have something to do with my reaction,
but I feel it was much deeper than that.

And I don't want anyone yelling "pedophile" here -
because that is not the subject that I am trying
to discuss.

At the ripe age of 15, I used to baby sit for this
couple that had two really cute kids.  But then so
was their Father.  He was a hunk - as we girls used
to say back then.

One evening, when the kids' Father was driving me
home at the end of my gig (watching the kids).  He
pulled into a parking lot and decided to have a
discussion with me.

I have to give you a little background on this guy,
so you can see the obvious temptations.  He was tall,
dark and handsome.  He had black curly hair and
hypnotic, penetrating green eyes.  He was a manly-man,
with rugged looks and rugged ways.  He also was well
bred with meticulous manners, and a deep soft voice.  
He had a passionate way about him, and he dressed
with obvious social status.  He was a well-to-do
lawyer with a beautiful home and a very expensive car.

That night - his car was humming, and soft music was
oozing out of the speakers, and he smelled oh so good,
like a greek god that had bathed in exotic spicy
nectar.  As he spoke to me, his eyes glistened and his
expensive Rolex watch tantalized my senses.  His
chiseled facial features were decked with a dark
mustache and full robust lips that begged to be kissed.

I could not believe that I was thinking such thoughts,
since I had full respect for his lovely wife, and his
two precious children, a boy and a girl.   But what was
I to think as I sat like a child in a candy store full
of robust delicacies - just beckoning to be taken.

I wondered why he pulled into the parking lot - instead
of taking me straight home, as he usually did.
He turned the music volume down, and leaned over
to talk to me.  He put his strong arm on the back of
my seat and moved closer to me.  He was careful
not to touch me - even though he continued to slowly
move toward me.  I guess as an experienced lawyer in
his 30's, he knew enough not to send me screaming for safety.

He told me that he found me to be very attractive and
appealing.  He asked me how I felt about him.  Then he
asked me if I had ever thought about having a relationship
with an older man ?

I was stunned.  I was shocked.  I never thought that he
would ever say such a thing to me.  I didn't know how to
feel or what to say.  I let him do the talking, and I
tried to avoid answering - because I couldn't think of
what to say.  I was dumb founded.

He went on to let me know that he would provide me with
anything that money could buy - and that I would be
well taken care of.  He also said that, if necessary,
he would be willing to leave his wife for me.  I almost
fell over in disbelief of what he was saying.  I felt
more like ten years old - than fifteen.

Then there was this long silence.  Most people would
have toyed with the idea - at least for a little while.
But for some strange reason, that I don't even understand
now -  I would not, or could not even think of the whole
scenario.  I never toyed with the idea at all.  

My answer blurted out - like someone else was saying
the words - and I was just the ventriloquists dummy.
I don't remember the exact words that I said to him,
but it was something like -  "I think your handsome,
and truly tempting, but I only date guys my own age,
and I have never had a relationship with anyone before,
but when I do - I want it to be with someone that I
have deep feelings for - and I could never have that
with you.   Sorry.   But thanks for the offer."

Boy was that ever curt and to the point.  I don't
even know where that answer came from - but it just
erupted from my mouth like a geenie out of a deep
well.  It's like wiping the dust off a coffee table.
You just  do it - and never think about - "Why" ?

He promptly took me home, after I agreed to never
discuss our conversation with anyone.   And true
to my promise - I never did tell anyone.  Not even
my mother or any of my friends.  It was just a secret
that I had never thought of until the other day -
when I saw a man in the store that looked just like him.


Getting back to that night - I went home feeling
dizzy and stunned that evening - and felt rather
uncomfortable about babysitting for them after that.

Fortunately they moved to Rumson a few months later,
and that was too far away for me to babysit anymore.

The woman did call my Mom a few weeks later to tell
her that she and her hubby were breaking up -
cause he had been seeing several other woman and
they decided to divorce

Wow,  I think I spared myself a lot of drama at such
a young age.  I often wonder what would have happened
to me,  If I had considered this older man's offer ?


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~Harem~


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