By Me aka Niki
Date: 2008 Jun 05
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[[2008.06.05.18.03.23305]]

Without you has won...

Your raven-black hair
Your masculine forehead
Your defined jaw
The color of your skin (which everybody thinks is too tanned)
But I just want to melt into the chocolate color
I sit and try not to
Stare
Because the curves of your mouth
Your perfect nose
The way you tilt your head and a lock falls in front of your ear
Makes me want to touch with my fingertips
And inhale like I could live of off the breath of you
And taste (just one kiss please)
But I can’t and I won’t
So I don’t
Stare nor look nor do I dare to even glance
Because you will feel it, my eyes deceive me
The lingering thoughts of how your absence makes me feel unhealthy, how your ghost haunts me
I am afraid that I will want to curl up in your lap and never face the world again
And we can not let that happen
Thus I pretend you are dead to me
And that I do not know you everyday over and over again
Its called self-preservation
Which after all those years came a bit late
But,
Better late than never (right?)
So I die over and over again
Because reality is
I am convinced you belong to me and I belong to me
And I still love you (afraid always will)