|
By darwin Date: 2009 Oct 26 Comment on this Work [[2009.10.26.13.02.24658]] |
| i have moments of fear that take me. sometimes, i don't know how to come back from them. you already know this though. you see how i flow to them so naturally, and you know my rhythms when i am there. it's not that i don't know they make me a little crazy, it's not that i somehow lack the rationale to say that it's not right. I do. i don't know how to stop. and they hurt you and take us to places that make me even more scared. it's hard, this loving you. loving you because i don't ever want to love anyone else. this hard acceptance that my heart is forever gone. that it is in your possession and i want you to have it for as long as you want it. my gift to you, wrapped only in the words i write. the words i whisper to myself that i often wish i had the strength to tell you. that i love you more than i ever thought loving someone was possible. i have become the cliche i often rebelled against. it's in this love i found a fear i didn't know i had. a fear of loss that sometimes takes me down. before i knew life would continue. but without you life wouldn't be the same. the cadence and sound would disappear in the traffic of life. i've known sorrow, as have you. and the sorrow my mind conjurs somehow creates waves that take me under. my own riptide of emotion. i pray even at night that it will leave me, praying that it disappears when i awake. i need to accept my life with you and that you love me the same. love me with everything you know how to love with. and that's my new mantra. that these are the words you would write to me. minus the fear and the craziness. that you would just be. just be in love with me. |